Advocating at School
8 min read
School can be particularly challenging for children with RSD. Working effectively with teachers and schools helps create an environment where your child can thrive.
Preparing for the Conversation
Before approaching the school, gather your thoughts:
What to Say to Teachers
"[Child] has something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which is common with ADHD. It means their brain interprets perceived criticism or rejection much more intensely than other children. What might seem like a small correction to another child can feel devastating to them. This isn't attention-seeking or manipulation - it's a genuine neurological response. There are some strategies that really help..."
Accommodations to Request
How Feedback is Delivered
- Private correction rather than public
- Written feedback before verbal discussion
- Leading with positives first
- Specific, behaviour-focused feedback
- Time to respond rather than immediate answers
Classroom Environment
- Warning before being called on in class
- No surprise tests or pop quizzes
- Signal system for needing a break
- Seating that reduces comparison anxiety
- Clear expectations and predictable routines
Social Support
- Awareness of friendship dynamics
- Support during unstructured times
- Help with group work situations
- A trusted adult to go to
Academic Adjustments
- Grace period after upset before work
- Option to redo work without penalty
- Breaking large tasks into pieces
- Reducing competitive elements
The "Criticism Sandwich" for Teachers
Ask teachers to use this format for feedback:
"I can see you've been working hard on this..."
"One thing that would make it even better is..."
"I know you can do this. Let me know if you need help."
Formal Support Plans
UK: EHCP and School Support
Children with significant needs may qualify for an EHCP. However, many RSD accommodations can be implemented through:
- School's SEN support (without EHCP)
- Individual Healthcare Plans
- Informal agreements with teachers
US: 504 Plans and IEPs
In the US, consider:
- 504 Plan
For accommodations without special education services
- IEP
For more comprehensive support including special education
Building Ongoing Communication
Regular Check-ins
- Brief weekly emails with the class teacher
- A communication book between home and school
- Scheduled termly reviews
Sharing What Works
- Specific calming strategies your child uses
- Warning signs of dysregulation
- What to avoid saying or doing
- How long recovery typically takes
Create a One-Page Summary for Teachers
Consider creating a brief document including:
If School Isn't Responsive
If initial conversations don't result in support:
Supporting Your Child Through School Challenges
Even with accommodations, school will sometimes be hard