Managing Your Inner Critic
10 min read
For people with RSD, the inner critic isn't just a voice of self-doubt - it's a relentless narrator that amplifies every perceived rejection and turns minor setbacks into proof of unworthiness. Learning to manage this voice is essential for RSD recovery.
The RSD Inner Critic
The inner critic in RSD is different from ordinary self-doubt. It's often:
Common Inner Critic Scripts
Techniques to Manage the Inner Critic
1. Name It to Tame It
Give your inner critic a name or persona. This creates psychological distance, making it easier to recognise when the critic is speaking versus your rational self.
Example: "Oh, there's Critic Carl again, telling me everyone hates me. Thanks for the input, Carl, but I don't think that's actually true."
2. The Friend Test
Ask yourself: "Would I say this to a friend in the same situation?" If not, why are you saying it to yourself?
Critic says:
"You're such an idiot for saying that."
To a friend you'd say:
"That was awkward, but everyone has those moments. It's okay."
3. Evidence Check
When the critic makes a claim, demand evidence like a lawyer would.
4. Reframe the Function
Your inner critic often thinks it's protecting you. Acknowledge this while redirecting it.
Try saying: "I know you're trying to protect me from getting hurt by preparing me for the worst. But right now, that's not helping. I'm going to try a different approach."
Building Your Compassionate Voice
The goal isn't to silence the critic completely - it's to build a stronger compassionate voice that can respond.
Compassionate Phrases to Practice
- This is a moment of difficulty
- Everyone struggles sometimes
- I can be kind to myself right now
- This feeling will pass
- I am doing my best
- One moment doesn't define me
Daily Practice
- 1Start each day with one kind statement to yourself
- 2Notice when the critic speaks and pause
- 3Respond with a compassionate phrase
- 4End each day by acknowledging one thing you handled well
It Takes Practice
Your inner critic has had years of practice. Building a compassionate voice takes time and repetition. Be patient with yourself - even noticing the critic is the first step toward change.