RSD and Friendships
10 min read
Friendships can be both a source of joy and anxiety for people with RSD. The fear of being left out, not liked, or losing friends can make social connections feel precarious. Understanding how RSD affects friendships is the first step toward more secure, fulfilling connections.
How RSD Shows Up in Friendships
Overanalysing Interactions
Reading into every word, tone, or emoji. A short reply = "They're mad at me."
Fearing Exclusion
Seeing friends hang out without you feels devastating, even if it wasn't intentional.
People-Pleasing
Saying yes to everything, never expressing your needs, trying too hard to be liked.
Avoiding Closeness
Keeping friendships surface-level so rejection would hurt less.
Dropping Friends First
Ending friendships preemptively to avoid being rejected.
Intense Attachment
Getting very close very fast, then feeling devastated if the friendship cools.
Building Secure Friendships
Quality Over Quantity
Focus on a few deep friendships rather than many surface ones. It's easier to maintain and less overwhelming for RSD.
Look for Safe People
Friends who are consistent, emotionally available, and can handle your sensitivity without judgement.
Communicate Your Needs
Close friends should know about your RSD. They can't support you if they don't understand.
Allow for Normal Friendship Rhythms
Not every friendship needs constant contact. Healthy friendships can withstand periods of distance.
Practice Giving Space
Resist the urge to constantly reach out for reassurance. Trust that the friendship is okay.
When You Feel Rejected by a Friend
1. Pause Before Reacting
Don't send a confrontational message or make assumptions. Give yourself time to calm down.
2. Check the Evidence
What actually happened? What are alternative explanations? They might be busy, stressed, or unaware of how their actions landed.
3. Consider the Track Record
Has this friend been consistently kind and present? One off moment doesn't erase a history of good friendship.
4. Communicate Calmly (If Needed)
If something genuinely bothered you, bring it up without accusations. "I felt hurt when X happened. Can we talk about it?"
5. Accept That Not Everyone Will Stay
Some friendships do end, and that's normal. It doesn't mean you're unlovable. It means that relationship ran its course.
Telling Friends About Your RSD
You don't have to tell everyone, but close friends benefit from knowing:
"Hey, I wanted to share something with you. I have this thing called RSD - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It means I can be really sensitive to feeling rejected or criticised. Sometimes I might need extra reassurance, or I might react strongly to things that seem small. It's not your fault - it's just how my brain works. I'm working on managing it better, but I wanted you to understand in case it ever affects our friendship."
A good friend will appreciate your honesty and want to support you.
RSD and Social Media
Social media can be particularly triggering for RSD. Watch out for:
Consider limiting social media use, muting triggering accounts, or taking breaks when you notice it affecting your mood.
Friendships Are Worth the Vulnerability
RSD can make friendships feel risky, but isolation is worse. The friends who stick around - who understand your sensitivity and love you anyway - are worth the vulnerability it takes to find them.