School Stress and RSD
10 min read
School is basically designed to trigger RSD. Grades, group projects, presentations, friend drama, eating alone, being picked last - it's relentless. Here's how to get through it.
School RSD Triggers
Getting work back
Even a B feels like failure. Red pen marks feel like personal attacks.
Being called on in class
Terrified of getting it wrong in front of everyone. Avoiding eye contact.
Group project rejection
"No one wants me in their group. I'm the leftover."
Teacher criticism
One comment ruins the whole day. Feeling like they hate you.
Lunchtime
Who to sit with? What if they don't want me? What if I'm alone?
Not being invited
Seeing others make plans. Being left out of the group chat.
Sports/PE
Being picked last. Not being good enough. Being watched.
Presentations
Everyone staring. Potential for humiliation. Can't sleep the night before.
Handling Academic Pressure
Problem: Every grade feels like a verdict on your worth
Strategy: Grades measure what you knew on one day about one thing. They don't measure your intelligence, potential, or value.
Problem: You can't start assignments because you're afraid they won't be perfect
Strategy: Something done is better than nothing perfect. Write a terrible first draft. You can fix it later.
Problem: Teacher feedback feels like personal criticism
Strategy: They're criticising the work, not you. Ask yourself: "What can I actually learn from this?"
Problem: You compare yourself to everyone else
Strategy: You're seeing their highlight reel. Everyone struggles. Focus on your own progress.
Navigating Social Stuff
Friend Group Drama
- Not every friend group shift is about you
- Quality over quantity - one good friend > ten surface ones
- It's okay to have different friends for different things
- Distance yourself from people who make you feel worse
- School friendships don't have to be forever
Lunchtime Survival
- Have a backup plan (library, art room, counsellor)
- Join a club to have automatic people to sit with
- It's okay to eat alone sometimes - bring headphones
- Arrive early to secure your spot
- Feeling lonely doesn't mean you're unlikeable
Classroom Survival Tips
Sit where you're comfortable
Not too front, not too back. Near the door if you need escape routes.
Have a grounding object
Something in your pocket you can touch when anxious.
Ask for accommodations
Written feedback, extra time, not being called on unexpectedly.
Know your bathroom breaks
If you need to leave to calm down, that's okay.
Identify safe teachers
Build relationships with adults who understand you.
Have a plan for bad days
Know where you can go and who you can talk to.
When School Feels Like Too Much
If school is making you miserable, you need support:
- 1Talk to a parent or guardian about what you're experiencing
- 2See the school counsellor - they can help more than you think
- 3Ask about accommodations for anxiety/ADHD if you have diagnoses
- 4Consider if there are changes that could help (class changes, schedule changes)
- 5Remember: school is temporary. This isn't forever.
- 6If you're having thoughts of harming yourself, tell someone immediately
School Doesn't Last Forever
It might feel endless right now, but school is a relatively small part of your life. The friendships, grades, and social drama that feel so huge will matter a lot less once you're out. Focus on surviving it and building skills for the future.