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RSD and Social Media

10 min read

Social media is basically a rejection sensitivity minefield. Likes, views, comments, who's following who, who's hanging out without you - it's endless opportunities for your RSD to go off. Here's how to survive it.

Social Media RSD Triggers

Left on read

"They're ignoring me. They hate me. What did I do wrong?"

Low likes on a post

"Nobody cares about me. I shouldn't have posted that. I'm embarrassing."

Seeing friends hang out without you

"They didn't invite me on purpose. They have more fun without me."

Someone unfollowed you

"Who was it? Why? What did I post? Everyone is going to unfollow."

Not tagged in photos

"They're pretending I wasn't there. They're embarrassed of me."

Story views

"They watched my story but didn't reply. They must think I'm annoying."

Group chat activity

"They're talking without me. There's probably a separate chat I'm not in."

Comparing yourself to others

"Everyone's life looks better than mine. I'm a failure."

Reality Checks

When your RSD is going off about social media, try to remember:

RSD thought: They left me on read because they hate me

Reality: They might be busy, forgot, got distracted, or their phone died. Most people aren't thinking about you as much as you think.

RSD thought: Low likes means I'm unpopular

Reality: Algorithms control who sees your posts. Timing matters. Most people scroll without engaging. Likes ≠ your worth.

RSD thought: They hung out without me to exclude me

Reality: People make plans randomly. Group sizes are limited. It probably wasn't about you at all.

RSD thought: Everyone's life is better than mine

Reality: You're seeing highlight reels, not reality. Everyone curates their posts. Everyone struggles.

Survival Strategies

Settings Changes

  • Hide like counts on Instagram
  • Turn off read receipts
  • Mute stories/accounts that trigger you
  • Turn off most notifications
  • Limit who can comment on your posts
  • Use "Close Friends" for personal stuff

Behaviour Changes

  • Set time limits for apps
  • Don't check first thing in the morning
  • No scrolling when you're already sad
  • Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad
  • Take regular social media breaks
  • Don't post when you're looking for validation

When You're Spiraling

1

Put the phone down

Seriously. You can't solve this by looking at it more.

2

Do something physical

Walk, jump, dance, hold ice cubes - get out of your head.

3

Name what's happening

"My RSD is triggered right now. This feeling will pass."

4

Don't post or message anything

You will regret it. Wait until you're calm.

5

Talk to someone IRL

A real conversation with a real person helps reset your brain.

6

Set a timer

Tell yourself you'll check again in an hour. Usually by then you won't care.

Posting Tips for RSD

  • 1.Ask yourself: "Am I posting this to express myself or to get validation?" If it's validation, maybe don't.
  • 2.Post and close the app. Don't sit there watching for likes. Check back later (or never).
  • 3.Remember that what you post says nothing about your worth as a person.
  • 4.Consider private accounts or close friends lists for personal stuff.
  • 5.You don't have to post everything. Some things can just be for you.
  • 6.If you're feeling fragile, it's okay to skip posting that day.

You Control the App, Not the Other Way Around

Social media can be fun when it's not triggering your RSD constantly. It might take some experimentation to figure out what works for you - which apps, what settings, how much time. But you can find a balance that doesn't destroy your mental health.