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Self-Help Strategies

10 min read

While professional support is valuable, there's a lot you can do on your own to manage RSD. These evidence-based strategies can help reduce the frequency and intensity of RSD episodes.

Cognitive Strategies

1

Name it to tame it

When RSD hits, label it: "This is my RSD activating, not reality." Naming the experience creates distance from it.

2

Challenge catastrophic thoughts

Ask yourself: "What evidence do I actually have? What would I tell a friend? What's the most likely explanation?"

3

Keep a thought record

Write down the situation, your automatic thought, the evidence for/against, and a more balanced thought.

4

Practice cognitive defusion

Instead of "I'm worthless," try "I'm having the thought that I'm worthless." It creates helpful distance.

5

Build your evidence file

Keep a collection of positive feedback, accomplishments, and kind messages to review when RSD distorts reality.

Emotional Regulation Techniques

During an Episode

  • Cold water on face/wrists (activates dive reflex)
  • Box breathing: 4 in, 4 hold, 4 out, 4 hold
  • Ground yourself: 5 things you see, 4 hear, 3 touch
  • Physical movement: jumping jacks, walking, dancing
  • Progressive muscle relaxation
  • Hold ice cubes or splash face with cold water

Preventative Practices

  • Daily meditation or mindfulness (even 5 minutes)
  • Regular journaling about emotions
  • Identify your triggers and warning signs
  • Create a "calm down" kit ready to use
  • Practice self-compassion exercises
  • Build emotional vocabulary

Lifestyle Factors

Your physical state significantly impacts emotional regulation. These basics matter more than you might think:

Sleep

  • • Poor sleep = worse emotional regulation
  • • Aim for consistent sleep/wake times
  • • Create a wind-down routine
  • • Limit screens before bed

Exercise

  • • Regular exercise reduces anxiety
  • • Even walking helps
  • • Find movement you actually enjoy
  • • Exercise can interrupt spiraling

Basics

  • • Stay hydrated
  • • Eat regularly (blood sugar affects mood)
  • • Limit alcohol and caffeine
  • • Get outside daily

Relationship Strategies

Build your support team

Identify 2-3 people you can talk to when RSD hits. Tell them what helps and what doesn't.

Communicate about your RSD

Let close people know what RSD is and how it affects you. Share what they can do to help.

Create repair rituals

After RSD causes conflict, have a way to reconnect and repair. Don't let shame prevent reconciliation.

Reduce reassurance-seeking

Practice tolerating uncertainty. Ask for reassurance less, but ask for support more.

Recommended Resources

Books

  • • "The DBT Skills Workbook" - McKay, Wood, Brantley
  • • "Self-Compassion" - Kristin Neff
  • • "Feeling Good" - David Burns
  • • "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" - Melissa Orlov

Apps

  • • Headspace / Calm (meditation)
  • • Woebot (CBT chatbot)
  • • Daylio (mood tracking)
  • • Finch (self-care pet)

Small Steps Add Up

You don't need to implement everything at once. Pick one or two strategies that resonate and practice them consistently. Small, sustainable changes compound over time into significant improvement.